When to Stop Listening.

Wait, what?

I can’t mean that. Listening is the Mother Theresa of personal attributes. I believe in being a good listener— and I appreciate a good listener when in a crisis or when I really need to vent. I myself have worked hard to cultivate the craft of listening. I’m still a work in progress.

My model didn’t come with “Good Listener” included. My model came with “Entertain the masses ‘til you drop dead.” Nothing about listening in the instruction manual. Such a foreign concept.

Over many decades, I’ve trained my mind to quiet down…and listen. It does makes me a better person. It makes me a person that people want to be around. Because I now don’t just listen, I see. So all this is great. We all need to listen and see each other.

But fuck it.

Today I ran into Donna who I haven’t seen in twenty years. A yellow flag went up in my head, I couldn’t remember why. The “higher” voice in my head went, “Don’t run, be nice, it’s been a long time. You don’t know Donna now.”

So I engaged in conversation with Donna. Only it wasn’t a conversation. It was a Donna monologue. I instantly remembered why the yellow flag went up — nothing has changed with this woman.

Most of my conversations today are with either mature, socially skilled or compassionate, aware humans. Even the young people I work with demonstrate the ability to keep a conversation in balance. Back. And Forth.